Indie-rama, plus: what must go? YOU decide!
So, first off: If you didn’t know already, May is National Independent Booksellers Month. Rock on, Independent Booksellers! To celebrate in my own way, I wrote this spotlight on local Indie the King’s English. The spotlight appeared on the Shrinking Violets blog, which is devoted to helping introverted writers with publicity–both for themselves and for their favorite bookstores. Jenn Northington (Marketing and Events Director at the King’s English) and I ate brownies in order to fully observe this terrif holiday.
With my heart full of love for the King’s English and its awesomeness, I decided to drop by on Thursday night to check out the reading/signing for YA fantasy author Aprilynne Pike.
If there’s one thing TKE lacks, it’s sufficient parking. After all, the store is located in that little strip of Sugarhouse where local businesses and residences coexist in perfect harmony. Parking lots are not conducive to said harmony. Thus, I was resigned to street parking. The only spot I could find was thisclose to someone’s driveway. Should I risk it? Then I saw the Parking Enforcement officer coming down the hill on his little golf-cartmobile. I turned off my car and stood next to it, thinking that if I was in violation, this was certainly the man who’d tell me so. When he putt-putted off without a second glance at me, I breathed a sigh of relief and got ready to PAR-TAY! (There was cake. Need I say more?)
After the shindig, including a bite to eat at the restaurant next door, my friends and I were heading home in my car. Imagine my surprise as I proceeded to make a semi-U-turn (never my strong suit) and saw two pedestrians rush out toward me, seemingly out of nowhere, as though they WANTED me to hit them. One figure retreated, while the other came up to my window. Upon closer inspection, this second figure proved to be a tweenage boy. A very embarrassed-looking tweenage boy, who prompted me to roll down the window. He then said, “My mom made this for you.” Before running away, he thrust the following note in my direction:
Yes, that is a picture of my car. Which this lady took, printed out, and Scotch-taped onto a poorly written note. As my friend Brodi pointed out, the picture actually proves my point more than hers: technically, I’m NOT parked in her driveway.
In Brodi’s blog she mentions her list of Things That Must Go a la Radio From Hell on X96. This scenario involves so many Things That Must Go that I simply can’t decide on one. This is where you come in. What do YOU think must go?
a) East-side Divas with too much time on their hands. (Sorry East-Benchers, but you know how we sistas from the street feel about your kind).
b) Grammatically incorrect, ill-composed and all-around bizarre notes. (My favorite line: “Are you just un-aware? If so now you are.” Runner-up: “I’m just hoping this will save someone else in the future.” )
c) Parents who make their kids do their bidding. How was this mom to know what a sweet, gentle person I was? What if I was the burly, mean, criminal type who grabbed her kid and took off? I’m not a parent, but really…do you have to be a parent to know this is a BAD IDEA?
d) Parking enforcers on funny-looking golf carts.
So? What’s the verdict?
May 20th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I must admit. That’s hilarious. I’m chuckling out loud. COL.
May 20th, 2009 at 9:40 am
FUNNY! She put a lot of time into that note, if not a lot of thought. I think we just have to assume in the future that most people think parking “in” their driveway means you’re within four feet of it. Because, uh . . . hasn’t this happened to you before?! You are a magnet for weird notes!!!
My favorite east-bench diva story was the neighbor who lived across the street from me in East Millcreek. If ever we had a party (often) or overnight guests like one of my six roommates’ sisters, this lady would march over to our house and insist it was rude if anyone ever parked in front of her house because what if SHE were having guests who needed that spot?
Things that must go: People who think they own city property, namely the parking strip in front of their house.
May 20th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
My vote goes to having your kid do your bidding.
Luckily for her, you too are a nice person, who hates kidnapping and therefore did not hurt/steal her kid. Hopefully you gave her a wake up call and saved someone else in the future.
May 24th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Emily, you have the craziest experiences! Next time you should park on her lawn!
May 27th, 2009 at 6:56 am
WTF.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Okay, that was entirely too funny. I absolutely love your favorite lines from said note: “Are you just un-aware? If so now you are.” Runner-up: “I’m just hoping this will save someone else in the future.”
I mean, she’s practically saving future lives, right? So funny.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Ack! How did I miss this post when it first went up. I am blind. Anyway, that was a fun/bizarre night. Perhaps you should share with readers that you got a different “don’t park in my driveway!” note only like five days before this one. I think you should start collecting them and make a modern art collage to sell when you are super famous.
I think getting your kids to do your bidding should go. Seriously, we could have been some bad-A chickas looking to make us a tweenage boy sandwich with our car.
May 29th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Saw you over on Brodis blog.
a) LOVE Kings English. My book club (of women all over the Wasatch Front) proudly supports them (and once we were even on the news at their shop), we love Kings English!
And 2) A printed note and everything? As a person who has a little pet peeve like this also I have something to say, What a great idea. I gotta do that for my house.
I just bet she’s got 30 of these printed off and then runs out snaps a pic an tapes it on. Man can you imagine all day long just looking out your window waiting to catch another person. Maybe it’s better than tv.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Hi Debbie! Always nice to get new readers, especially one with excellent taste in bookstores!
Yes, I think the note I got was of the form-letter variety. Should you try this at home, my only advice would be to proofread thoroughly. Preferably at a time you aren’t angry. A lot seems to slip by people when they’re irate….
July 13th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
[...] I should have taken it as a bad sign that Holden cried for nearly the entire journey to said yurt, but I chalked it up to his being an infant. Also I should have taken it as a bad sign that we got checked into our campsite by a nine-year-old boy, but I chalked that up to bad parenting (which I’ve experienced first-hand as of late). [...]
July 16th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
This is even funnier than Adventures in Yurting. Wow! You can’t make that stuff up. To be cliche, life is much stranger than fiction. Em to be you just for a day would be lovely.