Advance word of warning:  The computer has once again gotten into the setting where I can only see thumbnails of the photos, really small ones.  I can’t guarantee that all the photos I post will actually be the ones I want to post, but hey, it’s all part of the adventure, eh?

This picture is in fact the one I wanted to post.  It’s The Clique, aka my writing/critique group, on our first-annual-with-potential-to-become-semi-annual Retreat to Brodi Ashton’s Bomb Condo in Midway.  Thank you, Brodi!   You are the hostess with the mostest!  Follow up:  If anyone clicks on Brodi’s link and reads about the things she learned at our retreat, please know that I didn’t incessantly talk about nipples.  Only two or three times.  And always with good reason.   Also, what’s wrong with making a to-do list of How to Become Hot?

Here are some photos my friends took during  my first stab at becoming hot:

Okay.  I just realized these are not the best pictures to post at a time when I can’t preview them first.  Picture #1 is pretty good though, right?  But if you’ve never met me, picture #2 is more what I look like on a daily basis.  Thanks to Bree Despain, who curled my hair and did her best to help me smile “normal,” and Valynne for doing my make-up and saying:  “Never do that again,” when I tried to smile without any teeth showing.

Why the obsession with becoming hot?

I have decided that the better looking you are, the better you are treated.  This is probably obvious to most people, but I am so far from being like most people, this didn’t even occur to me until recently.  See, the other day I FINALLY got new contacts after almost a year of wearing only glasses.  My last doctor prescribed soft lenses (I’ve always worn hard in the past) and they were fine, except they’d rotate everytime I blinked, and when they rotated I couldn’t see.  I tried to stop blinking, but that was a no-go, as I am not superhuman.  So anyway, this new doctor prescribed me soft lenses that don’t rotate in my eye, producing the desired outcome:  sight.  Even when I blinked.   Alas, my bad hand can’t help me open my eyes wide enough to put in soft contacts, so after all of this, I’m going back to hard ones.

But I digress.  My point is, whenever I was wearing my contacts, people were nice.  The construction men building houses in my neighborhood waved at me.  People said hi to me at Target, even if they didn’t know me, or weren’t kids, who don’t count because they always say hi.  Random strangers smiled at me, like we were tight.

The next day bad hand was super-shakes, so I couldn’t put in my right contact and had to wear glasses.  Fewer people smiled at me.  No random people said hi.  When I drove past the construction workers, they just scowled at me (reason for that is still unknown).

Anyway, I decided that by becoming hot, I will slowly become friends with all the people of North America, one person at a time.  Then, by the time my next book comes out in January 2011 (mark your calendars!) everyone will be my friend and thus buy my book.   So really, this is a marketing campaign.

There is a second reason but this post is already too long so I’ll have to mention it some other time.

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